Confession time: I have a journal addiction. OK, obsession is more like it. But we are splitting hairs at this point. The struggle is real. Here’s what happens. I go into a store for ONE thing and then before I know it, a journal just magically makes it’s way into my cart. I’m really not sure how it happens, but my suspicion is that they sprout fairy wings and just follow me home.
But seriously, the joy of a new purchase quickly dissolves once I get home and realize a) I am not gifted with octopus arms and can only write in one notebook at a time, b) I have an entire case of unused pretty notebooks already waiting for me and c) I just blew $10 or more on another frivolous purchase.
Yeah, I know, I’m a little crazy. My hubby thinks I should start a journal addicts support group. Wanna join me?
The struggle is real friend
Maybe it isn’t notebooks for you. Maybe it’s purses or shoes, thrifting, scented candles, adult coloring books, coffee mugs, scrapbooking, chocolate or something else. But I know there’s a thing. Something that brings you a quick shot of joy, but once the newness wears off, leaves you empty on the inside, or guilty, or at the very least your pocketbook is a bit lighter.
My obsession is rooted in fear and insecurity
- A cute notebook is a little pick-me-up purchase when I’m having an off week. When I’m down, insecure, stressed or overwhelmed. Thankfully it’s just notebooks, not diamonds.
- My pile of unused notebooks exists because of an irrational fear of loved ones reading my deepest thoughts after I’m gone. I fear that my hubby or kids will find a journal someday and realize what a complete nutter butter I am.
- It’s a vicious cycle. I keep buying cute journals because in the back of my mind I think that this is “the one” to get me over my irrational fear of putting down my deepest thoughts on paper.
This weird, irrational fear of worrying what people in my future will think of me after I’m dead stops me from using these beautiful notebooks I own. Stops me from even writing down my doubts and insecurities I discover as I read my Bible.
What holds you back from being all God created you to be?
I don’t know where you are today in life or in your faith journey, but I do know that there is SOMETHING that causes you to worry or grips your heart in fear. There is something (or things) that hold you back from being all that God created you to be. Rational and irrational things. But there are definitely things.
THE GOOD NEWS
There is nothing in your life that is out of God’s control. Nothing too irrational that God can’t handle. Nothing too icky that God can’t redeem. In fact, Jesus loves you so much that He wants you to learn to lean on Him more deeply and let it all go. To accept His gift of grace. And to cast your cares and your burdens to Him so you can be free to be all that He created you to be.
Don’t you want to be free of all these worries and fears? To be all He created you to be? I sure do!
Your Grace Challenge
- Grab your journal or a blank piece of paper and write down all the things that cause you fear or worry. Everything from your irrational fear of spiders to the fear of being a mom who is going to desperately mess your kids up. Write down any fear/worry that is holding you back from being all that God created you to be. Take several pieces of paper if you need to.
- Now go through the list and star the ones that are irrational, or the ones you think are totally “justified” or “normal.” You choose which you want to star. I guess it depends on how many stars you feel like making today. *wink wink*
- Meditate on Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” and 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” Would the size of your list change if you could commit these words into your heart for those grace stealing moments of life?