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As a newlywed 18+ years ago, I thought marriage was going to be all rainbows and roses like they portrayed in fairy tales and movies growing up. WRONG! Healthy marriages are filled with low points too. When you realize this truth, it becomes easier to have grace for your spouse. We’re all sinners, right? So next time your marriage hits a rough spot, don’t forget to pray for a marriage in need… yours!Marriage is hard work, so work hard for your marriage! Click To Tweet
Real marriage is messy. So pray for a marriage in need!
Why do we think once we say “I do” it will be all rainbows and roses? Marriage exists between two sinners who must learn to put their selfish desires aside and focus a little more on the other person. It’s not easy, and the people involved are definitely not perfect. The process takes decades to get a handle on, and even then, you never fully have it all figured out. But you learn as the years go on that you can get through the bumpy parts a lot easier when you choose to lean on Jesus.
It’s important to pray for a marriage in need. Some days that’s your marriage, other days it may be the marriage of a friend or a coworker that’s hurting. But prayer does amazing things when we truly take the time to lift up our marriages to the Lord!The Bible is our blueprint for living out a Godly marriage. Click To Tweet
I grew up in a broken home. The hubs did too. Starting our life together, I guess you could say we were “in the hole” as far as role models went. If someone had given me a heads up, it would have been easier to deal with a lot of difficulties and obstacles we faced. We have definitely had more issues than the average couple. Maybe you have too! And that’s ok.
Marriage is not a contest.
Sometimes we make it out to be that way, don’t we? We try to outdo our friends or siblings’ marriages. We often put on a smiley face when people ask us how married life is, even when we are hurting inside. Sometimes we even compete with our spouses for other people’s approval or affection.
It’s unhealthy and soul-crushing to pretend life is ok when you are in need of help.
That’s why we need to reach out to others, check in with how they are, and then take time to pray for a marriage in need!
God puts people in our lives who can pray over us and offer us wisdom. Yet we often keep them at arm’s length because we don’t want anyone to know about the hard things happening behind closed doors.When we make marriage a contest, no one wins! Click To Tweet
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.1 Corinthians 13:4-5
The reality is that we are all broken and in need of a Savior. It takes two people leaning on Jesus to make a marriage thrive. I’m thankful we got through our hardships with hard work, some major therapy, and our commitment to stick it out in the hard, icky stuff, even when we wanted to run far, far away!
We are both stronger and more rooted in our identities in Jesus as a result of all the hard stuff, whether we will admit that or not.
God often uses our worst messes for His glory.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.Romans 8:28
It took a lot of therapy hours to learn to communicate in a healthy, assertive, respectful way with one another. We also have safe, loving boundaries around our own needs. It seems like over time, the healthier our personal boundaries have become, the more these boundaries have allowed our marriage to root itself in healthy communication, respect, and value for one another.
Trust me, we aren’t perfect. We’re annoyingly messy most days. God wired us so differently. We will both be a work in progress as the years continue on. But there is grace. Lots of grace! I don’t think we’ll have it all figured out until we reach Heaven.
But I’ve learned a couple of important things over the years that I’d love to share with you!
Lesson 1: The more we grow closer to Jesus, the closer we grow to our spouse.
Praise the Lord for His abundant mercy and grace.
We have made a lot of mistakes in our marriage over the years. There have been many times where we both felt like throwing in the towel. But we didn’t. We stuck through it, even in the really hard parts. God used our hard stuff to draw us closer to Him. He can do it for you too!
My marriage imploded when we lost three kids to a failed adoption. Grief overtook us, we both dealt with the loss in different ways. But we grew apart and it was devasting and painful. If we hadn’t reached out and asked people to pray, we would likely have divorced eventually. But reaching out made us realize just how far gone we were, and that we needed counseling and help. We got help while people prayed for a marriage in need for many years… my marriage! I’m so thankful!
Lesson 2: God gives us all so many wonderful opportunities throughout life to learn from our mistakes.
We often make the same hurtful mistakes over and over again in our marriage. Some of those mistakes slowly destroy our relationships day in and day out.
There are so many couples who put on smiley faces on Sunday and then the rest of the week, their life is anything but smiley. I know because I’ve been there. The last thing we need when life is hard is to pretend that everything is perfect.
Lesson 3: There is healing and hope in Jesus when we pray for a marriage in need.
My heart hurts for friends, coworkers, and others I know who are in such a dark place in their relationships right now. Maybe your marriage is hurting right now too. Whether separated or dealing with an abusive spouse, or in the middle of a divorce, it can be a painful spot to be in. Or maybe you’re thinking that is not me, my marriage is ok… but it is not all that God intended it to be.
If you are in need of healing in your marriage, please reach out and ask a trusted friend for prayer.
Don’t give up hope. Keep praying for your marriage. Keep asking God to move mountains in your marriage. Get professional counseling, if needed. Establish healthy boundaries. Ask God to reveal what you need to work on to help heal your marriage.
Ask God to move mountains in your spouse. Ask Him to move mountains in your heart too. If the answers you seek are not solved on this earth, don’t let the enemy steep you in shame. You are a child of the King and God’s beloved, regardless of the state of your marriage (or lack thereof). You are loved always by our mighty God!
Join me today as we pray for a marriage in need.
Heavenly Father, we pray that hurting marriages everywhere can be healed today. Lord, we ask you to reveal to us the areas in our own hearts that need fixing. We ask you to root out any bitterness and resentment that we may be harboring toward our spouse. Lord, we pray that those who are apathetic become overwhelmed with a fierce desire to fix what is broken in their marriage and not give up.
Father, we pray that You help those who are weary cling to Your Word and seek wise counsel and Godly friendships to lift them up. We pray that You can help us establish healthy boundaries in our marriages. We pray for hardened hearts to be softened and for those who have checked out of their marriage to check themselves back in and renew their covenant with You, Lord God.
Father God, give those who have been abused the voice to speak up and find safety and seek professional help. Give spouses in need of counseling the strength to find Godly counsel and make it through the hard journey ahead. Lord, we pray for those facing divorce to feel your great love for them, Father, in the middle of their heartache and pain, remind them they are loved deeply by You. Lord, we pray for restoration and healing in marriages, whenever possible, in your perfect timing. In Jesus’ name. Amen.