authenticity,  infertility,  spend more time with Jesus

Meeting Jesus In The Woods

I have a friend who goes up to her cabin and spends regular weekends with Jesus. She walks in the woods and watches deer dancing in her front yard. She spends hours in her Bible. And many more hours on her knees confessing sins. She sings hymns and praises to our great and mighty King.

OK, I’ll admit it. The first time she told me about it, I thought she was a little weird.

Seeking Jesus in the dark times of life.

But the past few years my heart has faced sorrows so deep that there are no words that can aptly describe the pain. It’s like a deep blackness that just rips you apart and pulls out your soul. Stomps on it, then sticks it in a meat grinder. Then tosses it in a paper shredder for dramatic effect and stuffs it right back into your soul cavity. Broken. Ripped apart. Washed salty by all the tears. Dried out from all the sadness.

No, I’m not dramatic at all.

Infertility. Miscarriage.
Such deep, dark, burning wounds.

But my friend who meets Jesus in the woods is onto something.

When you let Jesus fill up that deep, black, painful hole inside of you, beautiful things begin to happen.

Years of pain are replaced with tears of joy. Knowing that someday the other side of Heaven you will dance and hug and sing with your precious babies. And you will do all these other wonderful things like go for walks and play dates and build big sand castles and talk about boy things and girl things and funny things and silly things. But these moments will be so much more. More timeless. More precious. More eternal.

That deep pain in your heart will be healed up and filled with God’s glory and power and mercy. You will be so showered in grace that you will forget you only met your babies in eternity and never had a chance to love one another this side of Heaven.

My friend who meets Jesus in the woods is onto something.

Friends, when your soul is so battered and broken that you question whether it is worth believing, run to the woods. Meet Jesus there. Let him shower you in His grace and fill you up with His love. Let Him brush away your tears and tell you it’s going to be OK. Trust that He has a plan and a purpose far greater than your tiny little human mind can possibly imagine.

And when you are done meeting Jesus in the woods, like my wise friend, wipe away your salty tears. And make sure your heart clings so tightly to Him, that you will be able to face the heavy blackness together until it becomes beautifully bright again.

{P.S. Clearly you don’t have to go to the woods to meet Jesus, He is with us wherever we go. So don’t get all theologically crazy on me. It’s a metaphor about spending time in prayer and in God’s Word.}

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Cupcakes, coffee + Jesus. Radio personality, writer + soul encourager living to glorify Him.

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